The ballroom, adorned with dancing flames and the finest decorations, radiated with a festive energy that should have been infectious. Yet, for William, the vibrant ambiance was lost on him. As he danced with the elegant and impeccably mannered Lady Catherine Chadwick, his mind was a whirlwind of distractions. Luckily he had the muscle memory to keep the dance steps straight or he might have humiliated himself, and his dance partner too, by tripping over his feet.

Catherine was an elegant partner, her steps flawless and her conversation engaging. But despite her charms, William’s thoughts kept drifting elsewhere, to the sight of Lady Eliza Beaumont, her laughter like music, her smile radiant as she danced with Richard Hawkins. She was a vision in her pale green dress that fit the contours of her body perfectly. But it was Richard’s hand resting on her hip, not William’s, and that was something he could not handle.

It wasn’t Catherine’s charisma that held William’s attention; rather, it was the connection he saw between Eliza and Richard that consumed his every thought. The shared smiles, the ease with which they moved together, as if they were in perfect harmony. Every smile that crossed Eliza’s face tugged at William’s heartstrings, evoking a longing he had tried so hard to bury. He wanted to be the one that she smiled at all the time. He wanted to be the one making her laugh, just as he had been when they were growing up. They had spent many days playing games and inventing stories, and many evenings under the stars as well. It truly was the perfect childhood, and one that perhaps he had always been wishing would develop in to something more, although he had not realized how strong that desire was until much more recently.

Seeing Eliza with Richard was much harder than watching any of her other dances because he knew that a walk had been arranged before Eliza’s father fell ill. They had shared a connection before, and it seemed like today had simply re-sparked it. Seeing them twirl ignited a pang of jealousy in the pit of William’s stomach, a longing for a connection that went beyond friendship. It was a connection that had always been there, waiting to be acknowledged, only he had not been ready to do so until it was too late.

If only he could talk to someone about his feelings, but they remained deep inside where they were safe. He did not wish to let anyone know how he felt because he was sure that his feelings were not returned. He couldn’t bear the thought of letting anyone know the truth, of revealing the vulnerability that lay beneath his composed facade.

He believed with a heavy heart that Eliza’s affection could never extend to him in the same way. The history they shared was a cherished friendship, a bond that had stood the test of time. But the unspoken emotions he now grappled with threatened to blur those lines, and he couldn’t fathom the thought of losing her altogether.

A soft voice broke through his musing, and he turned back to Lady Chadwick, noticing the concern and kindness on her face. “Lord Hartley,” she said, her tone gentle, “you appear troubled. Is there something on your mind? Something you wish to discuss with me?”

William offered a faint smile, his eyes revealing more than he wished to say. “It is merely the dance of the evening, Lady Catherine. A bit overwhelming, perhaps.”

Catherine’s eyes held a depth of understanding. “Sometimes, the heart can be a tumultuous companion, especially in the midst of such festivities.”

He nodded, grateful for her empathy, even if she had no real idea what was happening. “Indeed, it can.”

“Well, your dancing shows no signs of your troubles, so you do not need to worry.”

“Thank you, Lady Chadwick. It is because of your expert moves, I am sure.”

Catherine giggled, her cheeks shining pink. “Thank you so much, Lord Hartley, that is very kind of you to say. But I believe it is you who is the excellent dancer.”

Thank goodness the music came to an end, because William was not sure how many more compliments he could come up with or listen to. It was starting to become terribly awkward. He stepped backwards and bowed as Catherine curtsied gratefully, separating their union with a graceful ease.

As the next dance began, Catherine excused herself, leaving William with his thoughts once more. The music swirled around him, and he found himself drawn to the back of the room, even if his steps were a bit more mechanical and his heart a bit heavier. He could not fathom the idea of dancing again, not with anyone else. He did not think his heart could take it.

Eliza and Richard continued to talk before they parted after their dance, and the feelings between them seemed palpable. He could almost feel the tension between them from where he was. William’s gaze lingered on them for far too long, the tug of his heart strings a poignant reminder of what he truly desired. Unfortunately, he could not hide his feelings from himself.

William’s reverie was interrupted by the approach of his aunt, Lady Margaret, her presence as commanding as ever. She wore an expression that spoke of both concern and determination, and William braced himself for the challenging conversation he knew was coming.

“William, my dear nephew,” Lady Margaret’s voice carried a sense of purpose, “I could not help but notice your preoccupation tonight. Shall we discuss it?”

He met her gaze, his eyes guarded yet respectful. “Aunt Margaret, I assure you, I am simply lost in thought. The festivities are quite engaging, are they not? The night is a lovely one and the hall has been so well decorated. I am simply enjoying it for a moment.”

Lady Margaret’s lips curved in to a knowing smile, her eyes piercing in their scrutiny. “Ah, but I have come to know the difference between a distracted mind and a troubled one. And I have a feeling your thoughts are centered around a certain Lady Catherine Chadwick. The dance you just shared with her looked utterly wonderful from where I was standing.”

William’s heart sank, his unease growing with her words. It wasn’t that Lady Catherine wasn’t a delightful companion. She was elegant and poised, and by all accounts, a suitable match for someone of his station. But his heart would never yearn for her. Not in the way it yearned for Eliza, no one could ever match his old friend in his heart.

“Aunt Margaret,” William began, his tone measured, “I value your guidance greatly, but you must understand that Lady Catherine and I share a friendship, nothing more.”

Lady Margaret’s gaze bore right though him. “I do not believe that to be true. I have seen the way that Lady Catherine looks at you. She does not only feel friendship, because I can tell she is waiting for you to make your move. She possesses many virtues that would make her an ideal match for you.”

William’s fingers tightened around the edge of his waistcoat. “Aunt Margaret, you have guided me since my mother’s passing, and I am forever grateful for your care. But matters of the heart are not so easily orchestrated. My feelings cannot be coerced.”

Lady Margaret clucked her tongue. “I understand the turmoil within you, William. You carry the memory of your mother’s love, and you long for a connection that mirrors that depth of feeling. But you must understand that love does not always come as a lightning bolt. Most of the time, it comes from a companionship with a perfect match.”

William was not sure how he should respond to such a sentiment, for he agreed with his aunt, just not in the way that she wished him to. Just as the tension within William seemed to reach its peak, his best friend from school days, Mr. Lucas Fairbourne, arrived with an air of lightheartedness surrounding him.

“Ah, William, my friend,” Lucas exclaimed with a flourish, “look at you. Has Lady Catherine’s charm left you in a state of bewilderment?”

“I believe it has,” Lady Margaret agreed with a smile. “And that is wonderful, for I believe that they are well suited. I am sure you would agree with me, Mr. Fairbourne. Now, I will leave you to talk. I believe the Earl of Cornwall is calling to me.”

William watched her go with a mixture of relief and gratitude. He turned back to Lucas, grinning from ear to ear. “Lucas, you always know how to bring levity to any situation. Lady Catherine is a lovely companion, indeed, but my mind is simply elsewhere tonight.”

Lucas’s grin widened mischievously. “Elsewhere, you say? Could it be that your heart has been captured by another?”

“It seems that Aunt Margaret is quite convinced that Lady Catherine is the only one for me.”

“Ah, the ever watchful eyes of match making aunts. But I have to admit, the idea of you and Lady Catherine has its merits. She is charming, graceful, and quite easy on the eyes.”

“Indeed, but as I just expressed to my aunt, matters of the heart are not so easily directed.”

Lucas’s gaze followed William’s, both of them landing on Eliza. Lucas’s expression turned serious, and he laid a hand on William’s shoulder. “You seem unusually distant tonight, old friend. Is there something more than the festivities on your mind?”

William offered a rueful smile. “You see through me, as always. It is just that… well, I find myself in a complicated situation, Lucas.”

Lucas’s brow quirked with curiosity. “Complicated? I assume that we are straying away from the likes of Lady Chadwick then.”

William’s lips curved in to a wistful smile, his gaze drifting once more to Eliza. “It’s no one of consequence, my friend. Just a matter of the heart that I must navigate in due time.”

“I do not believe she is not of consequence. I can see it in your eyes.”

William worried that he’d said too much. Since he could not keep his eyes off Eliza, he might not need to express his feelings aloud for Lucas to be able to see them. He had to dismiss his own feelings quickly before things got even more complex. “I am sure it will pass.”

“Love never passes… or so I have heard.” Lucas’s expression turned serious for a moment, almost as if he might be struggling with secret feelings himself. “If it is something that you believe to be serious, then you should try speaking your feelings aloud. You might find out that you are not alone. How would it feel to have the one you so desire return your feelings? Then you could finally start thinking about marriage and becoming a family man.”

Much as he liked the idea of the family and love, William was not too sure about that idea. He had seen the aftermath of confessions gone wrong, witnessed friendships shattered and connections severed by the admission of unrequited love. The risk was too great, the fear of losing her too overwhelming. And so, he chose to bury his feelings, to hide them beneath layers of humor and camaraderie, while his heart ached in silence. That would never change.

Lucas’s knowing gaze lingered on William, and for a brief moment, their eyes locked in shared understanding. William took a deep breath, attempting to push aside his internal struggle. “Lucas, my friend, let us not dwell on matters of the heart tonight. There is much joy to be found in the Christmas time festivities, and I will not let my own turmoil cast a shadow over the evening. Not when the Beaumont family has gone to such lengths to ensure we all have the best Christmas season ever after their long time away.”

Lucas nodded, his eyes reflecting both empathy and respect. “You are right, William. Tonight is a night for celebration, for dancing and laughter. Or…” Lucas’s eyes gained a twinkle within them as he changed his mind completely. “Perhaps we could try another path instead.”

William glanced at his friend, his curiosity piqued despite his inner turmoil. He narrowed his eyes curiously at his friend. “What on earth do you mean? What other path is there?”

Lucas’s grin widened, and he leaned in as if sharing a secret. “Follow me, I will show you.”

Confused, but perhaps a little excited too, William followed his friend around the out skirts of the dance floor, noticing the wall flowers who were hiding from the sight of everyone else, not wishing to spend their night twirling around the dance floor. Last Season, Eliza had been a little like that too, which was why she had not found a suitable husband in the previous year. But the longer that time went on and the more confident she became, the more William had to worry that he was going to lose her. Especially if Mr. Richard Hawkins kept paying her attention. Soon, another date would be arranged and then William really would be too late. He kept trying to accept that as an inevitable outcome, but his heart could not handle the reality of that. It would surely destroy him…